the nights we soon to forget
"Every time I engage in a deeply personal narrative, it brings me immense pain. In my everyday life, I’ve developed the ability to shut off my feelings; I assess whether something upcoming will cause unbearable discomfort, and I cleverly avoid it. But when I’m creating something I truly enjoy, I open up all my senses, like willingly stepping into a trap laid before me. I let go of all defenses and dive in, driven by the desire to find answers, to discover a narrative that resonates universally with all of humanity.
Perhaps what I’m doing is capturing those fleeting, shared human emotions. When I close my mouth, these universal experiences flow out through my eyes, allowing the pain and joy to bypass the barriers I’ve set up for myself. In these moments, all of humanity feels like a shared river, and I willingly step into it, hoping that the eternal freedom within it will grant me enough time to find the answers. For this fleeting moment of possession, I endure the pain of loss, like a passing moment in the night."
每一次拍比较私人的叙事其实都会让我感觉到非常的痛苦，因为在生活中我其实是一个能够关闭感觉的人，我会评估即将发生的事是否会让我感到大量无法承受的不适，然后去巧妙地绕开它，唯独只有在拍我真正享受的东西的时候我会全开感官，就像一个陷阱摆在我面前，我仍然缴械丢掉所有防御跳进去，想要找到答案，想要在它们身上找到全人类共通的叙事。可能我在做的这件事本身就是抓住一闪而过的人类共同情感，在闭上嘴的时候这些共通的东西会从眼睛里流出来，所以痛苦和欣悦一并越过我给自己设的屏障，在这里全人类像是—条共同的河流，我主动踏入这条河流，希望永恒的自由能给我足够的时候去找到答案，为了这一刻的拥有而承受痛苦的失去，像是夜晚一瞬而过。