fleeting shelters
2023 winter, London. I found myself shooting on a half-frame camera almost all the time. I couldn’t stop my anxiety so I stretch everyting to its limit, I tore my life apart and filled every small gap with the meaningless act of shooting film.
This project capture moments I spent living with friends in an abandoned mansion in the heart of London. In this freezing room, without electricity or lights, we nearly forgot we were in one of London’s most expensive real estate. This massive mansion, pressed right up against Regent’s Park, felt far removed from reality, here and now, someone wrote a giant “爱”(*Love) on the wall, someone else was sitting nearby improvising music, and somewhere, I can hear a flute was being played. In the middle of the third floor living room, someone painted a massive angel on the wall. Upstairs in the pitch-black attic, I was photographing Jace's fabrics. The model was, as always, my best friend, Lik. Most of the time, I avoid shooting with unfamiliar models out of work. I dislike the absence of warmth in those sessions—stranger’s faces constantly remind me how photography now is just a “job.” It almost feels like the meaning of photography is stripped away, turning my passion into something cold and lifeless. I’ve spent my life searching for the idea of “home,” but all I’ve ever found are fleeting shelters.
This was the day before the police sealed it off.
伦敦的冬天里，我几乎每时每刻都在按下快门。我无法停止焦虑，我把一格小小的135底片分开两半使用，将一切都压榨到极致。我把我的生活撕裂开来，再把无意义的胶片拍摄填入每一刻的缝隙中去。
这一些底片是我在伦敦一个废弃的豪宅里跟朋友相处的时光。此时此刻，有朋友在墙上写了一个巨大的“爱”字，有朋友坐在一边即兴制作音乐，不知道是谁在吹奏一只长笛，有人在客厅的墙上画了一个巨大的天使，我在全黑的阁楼里拍摄Jace的布料，模特依然是我最好的朋友lik。大部分时候我不喜欢拍摄陌生的专业模特，我不喜欢失去温度的拍摄，陌生的面孔时刻在提醒我这是在工作，像是把摄影的意义给抹去，让我所爱的东西变得冰冷。这个冷冷的房间里没有电，没有开灯，我们几乎快忘记了这里是寸土寸金的伦敦，忘了我们所在的这一间屋子是紧贴伦敦摄政公园的巨大豪宅。
这是它被警察查封的前一天。我一生都在寻找概念中的家，但找到的都只是片刻的庇护。